When I was in the height of my “food crazies”, I could gain like twenty pounds in ten minutes in my own mind. It actually happened quite often. I could go from looking in the mirror and feeling confident and good about myself, to feeling like a disgusting fat slob within minutes.
Now, to be clear, I am not talking about those times when you have been slowly gaining weight over the course of months or years and you aren’t feeling good about yourself. I am talking about the times when one second, you are feeling on top of the world, and then BAM, all of the sudden, out of no where, you feel like a fat cow who shouldn’t be seen by anyone. I am talking about the “fat feelings” that come on quickly and unconsciously and totally ruin your day.
It is actually unbelievable how many times I uttered the words “I feel fat” during those chaotic years. Rationally, I understood that it was impossible to gain that much weight instantaneously, but in my mind the experience felt oh so real. And the guilt, shame, and blame that accompanied those feelings would inevitably lead me straight to the fridge.
In order to recognize what is really going on in these moments, you have to go back in time. You have to get curious with yourself, instead of judgmental.
In my experience, women who are emotional eaters use “feeling fat” as a way of expressing that they are feeling bad about themselves. This type of self-sabotage tends to show up when you are feeling emotionally uncomfortable. When insecurities, fears, or self-doubts are filling your head, all of the sudden, you “feel fat”.
Well guess what… fat is not a feeling!
The first step in breaking free from this viscous cycle is to realize that even though it totally feels that way, it is actually not about the food or the weight.
Start asking yourself what is really going on.
Are you tired?
Are you lonely?
Are you angry?
Are you anxious?
What is underneath the “fat feeling”?
The next time you get hit with a case of the “I feel fats”, I want you to ask yourself if you weren’t thinking about food or your weight, what would you be thinking about?” With that awareness, you will eventually experience a breakthrough here.